Sex Dating Manual’s Guide To Getting A Sex Date


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Step 7: How To Actually Get A Sex Date

So you’ve followed all the steps in our Sex Dating Manual so far, and you’re online and finding hotties with ease, but now what? How do you actually get a sex date? Well, if you’re half-way charming and on the right sex dating sites, then sex dates often just happen. If you’re not having luck yet, or you’re feeling hesitant because you’re not quite sure how to proceed, we’ve got your back. If you’re new to sex dating, or just taking a more fine-tuned approach, it’s good to step back and get some best practices advice. Before you know it, you’ll be planning more dates than there are days in the week! Get ready for fun!

Basic Approach For Getting A Sex Date

If you’re not dating online it’s much harder to secure a sex date. There’s the whole challenge of finding singles who actually want casual sex, and then there’s the awkwardness of trying to pick them up without offending or getting shot down. As we’ve said before, your best bet is to go online to meet like-minded singles. We’ve gone through these steps already, so at this point, we’re going to assume you’re online and finding potential connections. To actually get a sex date at this point, it will depend in large part on both the atmosphere of the site, and what you can offer as a hookup partner.

First: The Sex Dating Site Atmosphere

If you’re on an actual sex dating site, then chances are the atmosphere is pretty suggestive and flirty. Some sites are more friendly than others, and some have a niche kind of feel, so you’d have to pay attention to what kind of sex members signed up to have. This will effect how you approach people. Understand what their goals likely are in being on the site, and make sure you make it clear that is what you offer them. You’ll know whether the atmosphere is friendly or exclusive by how many uninitiated messages you get and the tone in the messages. If you get several messages from people without first messaging them and they seem open and engaged, your approach should follow suit; message members you’re interested in with a open-ended and suggestive message, and you’ll likely get a good response. You can “carpet bomb” on sites like these and message as many people as you’re interested in, and they’ll likely all express interest in return. If you haven’t been receiving a lot of messages and member profiles read like overly confident or disinterested boasts, then you know you’re on a site for people of a certain status. You’ll have to play up your desirability to get them interested. Don’t seem too invested and maybe attempt a few pick up artist tactics, like “negging” (backhanded compliments designed to shift the balance of power). You’ll have to put in a bit more work to find a sex date on sites like these, but the sex is likely to be totally hot. You’ll want to be more choosy about who you approach on these sites and spend a bit more time carefully crafting your message (but make sure it seems like you couldn’t care less).

Second: Your Saleability As A Hookup Partner

Let’s be honest: there are a lot of people in the world who don’t have an accurate sense of their attractiveness (either they don’t give themselves enough credit or they give too much). This is responsible for a lot of frustration in sex dating. Guys will reach way out of their league for hookups and not understand why the 10 shot them down (when they’re a 5 or 6). Or those super hot guys who don’t know how desirable they are will attempt picking up less attractive women and also get shot down because the women think it’s a prank. Good news: you can still be picking up 10’s when you’re a 5 if you take the right approach (though we’re sure you’re hotter than a 5…). How? It’s about understanding what you can offer your sex date, whether it’s your good looks, status, charm, talents, etc. First identify what it is that really makes you sexy, and make sure you showcase that. If looks aren’t your best asset, but you know how to please in bed, you want to deliver a scintillating first message. There’s no need to identify your weakness (i.e., DON’T say “I know I’m not the hottest guy, but I can make your knees buckle”–just skip the first part), just focus on your positive attributes and the negative ones likely won’t even register with your potential sex date. If you’re sexy and you know it (because you’ve heard so from several unbiased opposite-sex sources/same-sex if you’re gay), then you don’t need to spend much time crafting your message. Just pick your most mouth-watering photo (but no full-on nudity: a tease is much sexier when you’re looking to build intrigue!).

Keep In Mind…

If you pay attention to these two points and really understand the goals of potential sex dates and how you can meet them, you’ll surely get the results you seek. Keep in mind that not everyone you’re hot for will be hot for you, even if you have the perfectly crafted approach. The beauty of online sex dating is that there are SO MANY options. When you get a rejection, just take it in stride and move on. Don’t try and get them to change their mind; you’ll be wasting time you could be spending getting a totally hot sex date–or dozens! Once you’ve found your sex date, check out the next step in our guide–Step 8: How To Plan For First Date Sex (When You Don’t Want A Second Date)! **Find Sex Dates On These Top Sites**