Sex Dating Manual How To: Rejecting Someone Nicely

How To Reject Someone Nicely

Sometimes you’re just too desirable and everyone wants to have you… Or sometimes, you just get a bit of unwanted attention. If you’re putting yourself out there in the dating world, chances are likely that eventually you’ll be approached by someone you’re not interested in (even if you’re not a female 10). No one likes to be shot down, so don’t be “that guy.” Maybe it’s time to learn how to reject someone nicely. rejection

Respond Instead Of Avoid

It’s easy enough online to just ignore a proposition if you’re not interested. Online dating makes it pretty easy to avoid confrontation, but that doesn’t mean you should. Think about it from the other person’s perspective: they were attracted to you, wanted to get to know you, and reached out to you. They’ve made themselves vulnerable, hoping it would pay off. The least you can do is respond. If you don’t respond to their message and continue to ignore them, they may get the message and back off, or they may message you again and may either get desperate or hostile. You don’t want to deal with that.

What To Say

Generally, you want to message back fairly quickly so they’re not waiting around and getting their hopes up. You don’t want to say too much or too little. Treat it like a professional email in a way. Thank them for reaching out to you and let them know that you’re not interested in pursuing anything with them. If you can, and without being nasty, tell them the reason you’re not interested and wish them good luck. If you’re not interested because you don’t find them attractive, say something like “You’re not my type,” and don’t elaborate. If you don’t think that you have anything in common, say that. If you don’t like how they approached you, tell them “I don’t think we’re interested in the same things.” Keep it concise and friendly but direct. Hopefully they’ll get the message and feel respected.

What Not To Say

Whatever you do, don’t send them a nasty response. You may think they’re repulsive, but unless they’ve been totally offensive in their message to you, it’s still best to treat them with respect. Follow the age old wisdom: if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. Also, be careful not to suggest the potential for interest in the future: i.e., don’t say anything like “I’m seeing someone right now, but maybe if it doesn’t work out,” or “Maybe another time.” You’ll only lead them on.


If they message you again with anything but “Sorry it didn’t work out, but thanks for letting me know,” just ignore it and move on. They may be upset about the rejection and lash out, or they may want more reasons why you don’t want them, OR they may try and convince you they’re a catch. Just ignore these messages and move on. You’ve already given them their answer, so it’s up to them to resolve it.

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