Don’t Mix Set Dating And Relationships


Step 9: Why Sex Dating And Relationships Don’t Mix

At this point in our Sex Date Guide

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, you’re likely pretty well-acquainted with sex dating, and know how to get the kind of action you want, when you want. Before you’re ready to dust your hands off, however, there’s one issue to clarify: sex dating and relationships. Most of you reading this may think, “Obviously I’m not looking for a relationship when I’m sex dating…” and that’s fair, but what if you start to get complicated feelings for someone you’ve seen? Or what if you start thinking, “Hey, I can keep seeing them and still keep things super casual. Friends with benefits works… Right?“… Wrong. Just because some people have claimed success with the FWB situation, doesn’t mean it will work for you, and definitely doesn’t make it a good idea. Why? Friends with benefits is still a kind of relationship, no matter how casual you try and make it, and sex dating and relationships don’t mix.

Why You Don’t Mix Sex Dating And Relationships

This may be a controversial standpoint, but a lot of experience went into forming this opinion, and it just makes sense at an instinctual level. Surely you can recall the numerous chick flicks citing this issue: there’s a sweet, caring, girl-next-door type looking for love who hooks up with her mysteriously hunk friend and then agonizes over why he hasn’t called since they slept together… She ends up tracking him down and making a big, tearful scene (“I thought we had a real connection!”), and he inevitably caves and admits to his vulnerability that kept him from pursuing his real romantic feelings for her. This is just fantasy (though not much of a fantasy for many people…), and it shows the dangers of mixing sex dating and relationships. For many women, this cinematic trope has inspired some very unrealistic expectations. She may well imagine that even though you both claim to only want sex, if she’s “good” and charming enough, then you’ll inevitably fall for her after the encounter. If unfortunate and naive, but it’s also pretty damn dishonest and unfair. Given this common trend, if you have no desire for a romantic relationship, it’s best to just avoid the whole thing. casual-sex-no-nos

Reason #1: You Aren’t Getting What You Want

What made you decide to pursue sex dating? Was it the promise of intimacy and connection? No! You wanted SEX, plain and simple! Why should you compromise your needs to make room for sex dating AND relationships? You shouldn’t. If you’re hooking up with people you already have a friendship with, you’ve screwed yourself over from the start. Sex dating is a feat for the internet. Keep things as anonymous as possible when keeping things casual. If you’ve met your hookup partner online and the sex was so good, you keep coming back for more, you’re not doing yourself any favors. Likely there’s nothing so special about this person that makes the sex so uniquely good you can’t replicate it with someone else. Chances are, if you’re finding the sex so specifically good with this one person, then it’s probably because your feelings are enhancing the act. Yes, monogamous sex with a committed partner can be extremely pleasurable, and maybe the best sex of your life, and that’s because the feelings you have for the other person make the act more than just physical. But! You weren’t looking for regular sex with one partner; you were looking for uninhibited, uncomplicated, random sex with many people. You can have incredibly hot sex with more than one person without the emotional connection. Move on and keep the excitement going. friends-with-benefits

Reason #2: Things Get Complicated

If somehow you feel like you’ll be the exception and you can maintain a sexy and satisfying friends with benefits relationship and hook up with others without things getting complicated, think again. If it takes not hooking up with other people and only hooking up with your FWB, news flash: you’re in a committed relationship. Relationships always get complicated, and sex just exacerbates those complications. Imagine you’ve got your casual sex buddy action going on while you’re sex dating online… Are you going to prioritize one hookup over another? Well, you’d have to. Which is priority? Sex with hot randos, or sex with your buddy? Either way you’re in for complications. If you ditch booty call plans with your friend to hook up with the hottie you just met online, your friend is likely going to feel rejected and hurt (if they aren’t, that’s great, but we’ll see if that’s the case after the dozenth ditch…). If you rearrange your sex dates online for booty calls with your bud, you’ll also be heading down a slippery slope. Making them a priority will inevitably mean the development of intimate feelings. Either way you play it, it’s going to get messy.

How To Avoid The Messiness Of Sex Dating And Relationships

Simply put: don’t mix sex dating and relationships. It’s a lot harder to tidy up the mess that comes with complex human interaction than it is to just avoid it to begin with. The easiest way to avoid things getting complicated is to make a maximum two date rule. Generally, it’s best to keep all casual sex dating to simple one night stands, but if there’s a convenient opportunity for a round two and both of you get that things are to remain casual, go for it, but never again. If you start into a habit of seeing each other for sex when it’s convenient, you’ll be setting up a friends with benefits relationship it will be hard to get out of. Keep it simple! You’re almost through our guide! Last up is Step 10: Never Struggle To Find Free Sex Dating Again (Our Wrap Up)! **Keep Things Simple With These Sex Dating Sites**